Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Bashed into an embrace of Simplicity



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On a misty pre spring day, alive with the newness of the season.
Verdant green fields punctuated with yellow petals adorn the landscape.
There is such a softness , even the ground is springy with moisture.
 Indeed there has been a puddle in one street which has lasted for three weeks.
 I cannot stop a deep throated chuckle as I encourage it to last longer. 
Puddles are an unknown here.
The spring birds are out, the raw milk is so rich and creamy, the hens,  well the hens  ,  they are just laying so prolifically.  Nature is being so abundant.    In every glance, every breath, every sound there is the Divine expressing itself.
In the midst of this I suddenly felt stirrings in my heart.
 And my friends that I have not hugged in person came to the sacred space deep in my chest..  Nina, Zoner, Bholonath, John, Tim, Scrap JJ.   What a presence.   How much love do I hold for you.  What space did we truly meet up in that finds us all these years later still wondering, still caring, still wanting to hug the brother/sister hood.
The journey that we started on, found me taking suicidal chances in raising my children.
And for me a vital, vital part of being human is in raising consciousness.
I was open to the plants and their teachings.

Tao is a grower of food and herbs.
Cian is the rock of the earth and an artist and farmer.
Sage, well he is an alchemist and probably my great teacher.   He had a particularly challenging journey in that at one point he was into crystal m----.   He spent hours listening to Terrance McKenna and Alan Watts.   Healed completely.  Hermes is his inspiration.  San Pedro his teacher and friend.   Multi dimensional being.
Iona is alsmot grown  is now a published poet, in two anthologies.   Pushing to go to another school next year so I might step into Cape Town.
All those years my friends kids were excelling at really good schools.  And all i was doing was growing herbs, baking bread and keeping the fires burning.
And did I mention that they are the most unspoilt human beings you will meet.

There were all those years when I really felt I had failed so abjectly.
Born into a world that had no culture, made no sense whatsoever.
Never learnt what i was meant to learn at school –like how to be successful in this world.
Always just looking and shaking my head.  All I wanted was to have greater understanding to that it would make sense.
It seemed like I was not manifesting abundance because I was not in the vortex, or bad karma.  The extreme financial hardship made me feel less than good enough or deserving.
Until it did not any more.
I have come to see how every single step, detour, fall down, elevation has been to lead me to the space where what I value most in my outer world is less stuff  and greater simplicity.
 Not in a cutesy, homely, cottagey way – just in the acceptance of what is present and the de=light in that presence.

Today I smelt the first jasmine of spring.  Discovered a white lavender bush.  Walked whilst singing sacred names,  holding a whole lot of love in my heart for all who read these words.  
Should you wish to hug just ring the bell.
 My youngest.  Called for at Arunachala 2000.  One of my many Blessings

10 comments:

bholanath said...

Do you know how soothing and healing are your exquisite words and presence? I am always looking and hoping for a post, knowing it will come at the right time, with the synchronistic vibe and spirit. You probably felt us feeling you. Yes, that deep simplicity is where we've all come to. You are so blessed.

su said...

The circle of simplicity
receptive yet sealed with love
How are you doing my friend?
I still feel the shards of grief spiking
and in between small gaps of deep peace.
Sending you the scents and sprigs of spring.
With an infinitude of most heartfelt Love.

Timster said...

You make me long for one more spring. But it here in the heart of the beast...it is so far off. Great pics! Thanks for this.

bholanath said...

The waves come farther apart....every 3 days....with little ripples in between. But they crash upon me with the same force as those first tsunamis.......not less, like they've been building momentum.
Tonight I listen to ecstatic Sufi singing. This music is the conversation - the one we never stopped having....Together, we
were the poet, writing those mystical words, not knowing from where they arose nor through whom they arose.....
How can this ecstasy, this infinite uncontainable love, this deeply-felt inner peace - how can it exist simultaneously with such heart-ache, torment, crazier-than-hell madness, inconceivable longing and sadness?

That is an exquisite painting at top...from where? Great pics too!
love

su said...

Goddess Grief - No-one can understand her motives in creating again and again, that rawness, that heart ache,, that torment. And she demands it and then she steps back and only your Love is Present. Ever Abiding, Ever singing, wordsmithing, drumming, firing, dancing, waterfalling, living.
You are pioneering the path of loss of self ahead of us.
You are cutting the pathway through landscape which for us is still denial of possibility.
You are articulating so clearly what we will all need to one day meet.
Thank you for your wayfaring - for the path cutting, for the gentle drum.
Thank you.

The images were on a disc I found in a park once entitled the Divine Feminine. Many of the most beautiful images imaginable.

bholanath said...

Best guide book for navigating this landscape I've read is Martin Prechtel's "The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise", about indigenous ways that seriously need to be recovered.
Another book, just out, is "The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief"
One of my close drummer friends passed suddenly 2 years ago, and I have been sharing stories of the journey with his wife, whose words and understanding are invaluable. Nothing we have done in our lives, our spiritual practices, teachings received, life experiences, medicinal journeys - can prepare one for the shock, absolute disorientation, and surreality of where you find yourself at the loss of the unquestionably perfect soul companion/mate, especially at a young age. We are straddling the veil.
Listen to the Sufi music here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOgZJJmLfhA Click "CC" for English subtitles.
I'm working on a new video piece, and feeling like I can do this.
>onelove<

bholanath said...

Do you have email? I am "pakhawaj" at the hot one.

su said...

Bho,
E mail bounced back.
Try mine - iamwho (reversed like in self enquiry) at lando.co.za.

chickory said...

how lovely to read your words and see the look of pride and love on your face. so glad I ranged by. be well friend. much love

Erin Parsley said...

Hi Su, it's been a long time, but I am happy I happened on your site again. Sending you love. And I'll take that hug. Feeling it now. xxxx's, Erin

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Buddha