Sunday, December 2, 2012

Farmer of the Heart.

Since we last spoke – Israel bombed Gaza.
The Zionist lobby once again hijacked the western news.
Trolls and shills were out in full force.  American dollars at work.

With every fiber of our being our hearts wailed – not again.
How many more maimed and dead children must be carried to the burial grounds with the deepest sorrow entwined with potentized anger.
Something happened – and the fighting stopped.
Something happened last week and Palestine gained recognition from the UN.  Barring 9 of Israel’s bitches.

Since we last spoke the Leveson press gagging whitewash came to a conclusion that has no unilateral agreement – not even by  a member of the review team,   whom are banned  from voicing the findings.
So they would like to gag the press so that no story they don’t want outed will ever be allowed space again.
This directly after the Saville story unveils.
No arrests for the police officers who did criminal deeds.
Would you like some marmalade with your whitewash?

Weather is going crazy,  typhoon in Italy,  ark storm heading for California,  6 earthquakes over 6. yesterday and several volcanoes letting off some steam.
19 days till the 21st.
The waves of energy swirling in.

On the 17th of November, the original date that Terrance Mckenna gave for timewave zero – I was in a ceremony with 17 beings.  Israel had just attacked Gaza.  I sang my very being into peace.  I sang my very being into the cessation of violence and blood flowing into the streets.  A moving ceremony with amazing acoustics.  Upon my return home, my kitten/cat whom I found a few weeks ago followed me to my tent at night.  She meowed to come in.  She had never done that before.   In the morning I awoke to find her nursing four babies.  Not a sound, not a drop of blood, just this perfect transition from womb to earth.   Again I felt myself to be the most blessed being on this planet.

Summer has arrived and already the green has turned to brown, and the moist to dryness.  We have had some agricultural strikes with definite political motivation.  Interesting times.  Heat on all sides.  At least the vines are green.
Tomorrow again there is to be resumption  of the protests – again I call for peace, for absence of violence – that which feeds the entity of destruction we know so well.

Last week there was a storm in the Cape that had people holding onto poles.  I was in the tent feeling secure and marveling and the dimension of sound and movement the wind produces.  It occurred to me that this wind might whip up a tree or break a large branch that could fall on top of me.    This would seem a fitting end because of my absolute love  of trees.
The next morning on my net news roundup I read of a woman sleeping in a tent in her boyfriends garden during a storm. A tree uplifted and landed on top of her and she died of her injuries the next day.  Remarkable or not.  Parallel reality.

We are living all lives at once.   One appearing as all.

This morning, after the blessings of another ceremony with the sacred Amazonian medicine, Pieter and I discovered our car had been robbed and as he was on his way to see clients in the city – he had his iris microscope, camera and laptop in the car.  It was all gone.  Our means of livelihood are completely gone.    His bag with the diary also gone.  On his laptop course notes he has spent an eternity compiling as well as two books he had been working on for ages.
The hard drive back up was in the sleeve of the bag.
Gone are all the iris photographs.
There must be some potent blessing in this arrangement.
Because the energy of the ceremony was so potently divine.
Waiting for it to allow itself to be known.
Right now I just hand over to Thy will be done.

As we dance into what I hope is unbounded transformation I wish you all much love and much joy.
Such gratitude abounds.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Iona chooses to stay .....


Again you will find me , walking along with the four legged gods on the clay outer village roads.   The mostly unused ones.  The sky is indigo and the moon, almost full is rising.  The air is crisp and clean and the scents of syringe flowers and honeysuckle offer themselves as the constant nasal blessing.  These two scents together can throw me into ecstasy so easily.  A subtle blast.   There is a huge spring in my step and I think it is partially propelled by the enormous smile on my face.  Leaping into the air, almost onto the surface of the moon. 
The owl swoops in front of me.   We have met up a few times of late.   He sits on a lamp pole and I walk towards him with such a feeling of awe spreading over me.  I hold my hands out open to the side.  We stand like this for a while.  Then he flies to the next pole.  And again I approach him.  To me he is the sacred teacher,  and I am on the ground under the moon.   This happens for eight poles.  He then flies off.  And a song comes on my ipod that has me dancing along this moonlit road.   It really can’t get more perfect than this.   A contributing factor being that the creator of the song is also the owl.
I return home and bring in the dogs beds and refresh their water.  Cover the rats.  Close the gate.  Switch of the geyser.  None of the kids are in the kitchen .  I fuff around closing a window, picking up a book, stroking a cat.  I am washing my face when Iona comes into the bathroom.  She is pale.  Very pale.  But she is calm.  In that instant I know something momentous has happened.  She goes on to tell me that  she had been swinging around on the boxing bag.   And when it was really spinning she climbed to sit on the top.
The only thing was that her dolphin pendant on a thread which was around her neck got caught in the boxing bags thread and she was being strangled.  It was getting tighter and tighter and she felt feint.  And then she decided she was not going to die on a boxing bag strangled by a dolphin and with all her strength she tore if off her neck.  There is a big welt where it dug in.
And of course I know this beautiful being will one day no longer be in her beautiful body.  And I won’t be able to mourn because to have spent 11 years with her and the joy and the laughter that she is is such a gift in itself.
And yet the most, most supreme gratitude arises, that this beautiful being is ALIVE today.
And I know in the light of the potential devastation that is looming for many this is not relevant –
I just wanted to say thank you to Life for this being who is JOY herself still walks amongst us.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Wheelbarrow Omniscience

Many many moons ago if you were to set out looking for me,  and if you knew me at all well , you would know which tree in the village had the branches upon which I could lie comfortably.
You would find me, and the presence of the dogs might just make it that much easier.
I am lying on the branch and listening to a song, that a blog friend of mine had played.
It always lead to heart coherence this particular song.
So lying in the tree,  night sky above me,  heart at peace and at the same time elated.
Nothing could be more perfect than this.

The following day I awaken to an initially cold day. 
 The electricity goes off.  It reminds me that we are in a financial crisis.  
The onset of spring and its magnificence had prompted forgetfulness.  
How profound to not have a cent to your name and be able to forget about it.
But now I am reminded there is no electricity.
Tao makes a fire outside and sets about cooking a vegetable stew.
I am grateful for this.
I set about boiling a kettle of water.
A watched pot never boils.
And because of this watching I entered eternity.
All sorts of stories arising.
The granny, who is bedridden needs her electric blanket.
The snakes need their heating pads.
Why have I not stepped off the grid already is a huge question.
What am I waiting for.
I go down on my bike to purchase electricity,  
I had managed to scrounge some funds together.
Only to get there and stand in a queue with the guys from the squattter camp, 
only to be the only one who can't buy.  
Have not paid the rates -
cannot get the units.

Ride home.
Give up, give in, surrender.
I drag a mattress onto the lawn under the Ash tree.
Position it so that my face is in the shade and my body in the sun.
And I lie there and I give myself up to the earth.
I am listening to music on an ipod and my eyes are watching the blades of grass 
twist, turn, swirl, uncurl, balance, bow, wink, smile.
Lying on the grass, in the shade, feeling nothing but acceptance.

An elderly woman in the village comes outside to me.
I stand up quickly.
I am back in the world.
I hardly know her.
She tells me she thinks I might need some help....
I say no I am fine......
She told me that God does not have eyes or legs or arms or hands
but she does and she was told I need her......
So she comes in like an angel and the next thing
the power is on - food is cooking,  and the granny's blanket is on again.

That act of kindness was probably the greatest gift I have ever received.
It touched some space within me that gave birth to such an enormous receptivity.
Tears just flowed and flowed.

Humility has been my companion for a while now.
No car, hitching to town when I need to go.
Putting down the stories and self judgement.
Diving deeper and deeper 
into the clear cut realization that all we need
all we really need is
food, water and shelter.
So basic.
So do-able.
Everything else is really not necessary at ALL

There have been a few times recently where there has been no food on the table.
And yet each time this situation arises
someone comes to the door with a pot of soup
and a loaf of bread.
How beautiful it is to receive.
How enriching it is to allow.

And now it seems that the tide is turning
and the lessons have been learnt
and there is more ease of well being .....

and the whole time in the background
are those who read here
and who journey with me
in different spaces
but in the same dimension 
and I say to you
hold on now
we are so lucky to be here now
what looks like hell unfolding
is just a story

So much magnificence.
Do you feel it?
The brilliance of the sun.
The wisdom of the wind.
The power of the grasses.
The truth of our being.
 Do you feel it?

Monday, August 20, 2012

Total Surrender

 So something makes me click on a newspaper page sometime in July and I see an image of Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela on Madiba's  94th birthday.  He looks 94,  has that same being kept alive look that Franco  had.   When he was released I was filled with awe and admiration. A freedom fighter who had served so long on an island of incarceration.   Where he was cared for rather well - hence his longevity, unlike the other fighters such as Steve Biko who had to be taken out.  Anyway I also call out when I see the emperor is wearing no clothes and the first time I did this with Mandela was when I saw him entertaining Charles Taylor - Liberian despot who killed thousands ruthlessly.   And yet no-one says anything.  Naomi whatever, ramp model is at the same gathering and is given a fat diamond by the warlord - all under Mandela's roof.  Apparently Taylor is a higher mason ranking then Madiba.  Makes one think - or maybe makes one puke instead.  And then when I saw this man posing with the likes of Michael Jackson and Brittany Spears - well then I just said no fucking way is this man a leader.  He is a pin up puppet - has he critiszed Israel - no - only Desmond Tutu has.  Did he say anything when the ANC refused to allow the Dalai Lama in to celebrate the good bishop's birthday.  No.  The true leader in this country is an elderly bishop who is not scared of confrontation and who for a long time now has been shouting down our ruling party.

So to retract a bit,  when a few weeks ago I see Mandela and Bill Clinton in a photo together, my blood ran cold.  And when a week after that I saw a second of Hill - eirie trying to dance in this land of mine it ran ever colder.  Because wherever these two go there is an uprising upon their departure.   There was a miners strike a week ago,  40 dead, 200 injured.  I don't say I blame the police.  It is terrifying to be marched upon by warrior tribes - I don't condone it but as human survival goes I understand it.  Credo Mutwa -our prophet - wrote a few weeks ago that war was coming to our land.  It would be black on black violence.  And hey guess what.  It is unraveling.   Who would benefit from war here now -  well those who need our gold reserves.  China is going to be launching a gold backed currency and Russia who has greater gold reserves then us would be too difficult a picking.  But here with all our corruption and greed it would be so easy to set up an "uprising".   And with the evil pair having been here nothing but our most solemn intention for peace will negate the deals made.

The planet itself is splitting, and twisting, storming and diving -
And yet for now - it remains habitable for us earthlings.
Bill Bryson said in his book "A short history of nearly everything" that the earth in her history has been mainly inhospitable to life as we know it.   What we have now is a gift,  a nano second in time of beauty and splendour and sustainability.  I cannot lament the cycles that are ending and the changes coming - all I can do is marvel at how we all hang in this fragile balance, so magnificent in it's intelligence and yet so seldom give thanks for.
Whilst it is so easy to bitch about our lives and our hardships and the likes - if we go general- there is so much to be grateful for.
Thank you for the sun, for the rain, for the solid earth beneath my feet, for gravity, for oxygen, for light, for  life forms, for food.
So as I have just moved through the most challenging month of my life where everyday a miracle appeared in order for me to feed my family - there was not oh shit it should not be this way but just a vast appreciation for the delivery of the needs as they arose.  And although there is a wish that there could be just  a bit more security,  just a little less challenge - I go back to the general.  Thank you for the sun etc etc etc.

Snow fell over 9 of our provinces.  
This has never happened before.
An American visitor said he had seen chemtrails here the week before.

A cyclone was cycloning in the Antartic.  And another one was doing it's thing unseasonally in the Arctic.   Unsettling, disturbing,  every vibration I was feeling was one of discord.  Wanted to bundle up in front of the fire and just keep the home and hearth safe and yet I was being called to a gathering of the clan in the spirit house in the mountains.  I tried every excuse.  How could I leave Iona?  Her teacher and friend Oona crossed that off the list.  How could I leave the ailing mother in law.?  Another friend and caregiver eliminated that concern.  Yeah but what about Cian and Sage - who would keep a lid on their activities.  Well they insisted that I go and assured me that all would be well.  So everything, I mean everything was taken care of and I had no choice but to take my blankets and head to the car.  With a whole lot of misgivings and surrender as an ally.

Four of us set forth.  The drive was beautiful,  the sun was still shining and yet I knew the storm was coming.  That added an element of anticipation which always heightens it all.
Up into the mountains into the spirit house.  And then the winds blew.  Too hard to light the fire inside, the wind just pumped down the chimney, suffocating us all.  The medicine was strong - for the first time I was taken.  Straight to pure love, pure consciousness.  And in that space there was awareness repeating the words I am here now in this.  On the in breath and the out breath.  A stillness,  a gentleness , an ease, an expansion.   Beautiful dmt light images and visions.  And all the time awareness being here now with each breath.

An hour long silence where the entire group simply melted into no thingness.  The wind being the midwife.   And then the second offering was offered.  I have always declined the second dose.  Being the coward I am.  And yet Natalie walked me towards it and I tried to pull away but she said to me it is time.  It is time.   So I went forth.
Returned to my seat and a bolt of lightning hit my belly and this voice said we are clearing you out now.  And I went from Christ Consciousness to hell.  Dark Jed McKenna scenes of darkness and decay.  My belly screaming,  unable to breath, a tightness and constriction of my whole body,  feeling like passing out.   An intensity similar to the final stage of labour.   Knew I had to get to the bathroom, just did not know how.  And still awareness was I am here now in this.  Everyone was in a deep silence again and I wove and staggered to the ablutions just as my body discharged from both directions.   Okay there was one hell of a mess to clean up.  Some of my clothes got hit and it meant washing them out.  My body had to be cleaned with ice cold water.  But I felt better nw,  something horrendous had left my sphere.  After the ecstasy the laundry brought on a personal attribute.   Thankfully the singing started up again so the running of the taps and the cleaning and the cleaning and again the cleaning was not a disturbance.
Returning to the space there was a lightness of being.  An acceptance of what was.  And probably more importantly there was the realisation that as profound as the feeling of unity and consciousness was - there was something aware of that.  And as monstrous and debilitating as the 'death' was there was something aware of that.  Nothing that appears on the screen is it - only the space in which it  all appears is the one of ever lasting value.

Stepping outside there was lighting in the distance.  Such frequent strikes one could read a book by it.  And before the clouds came, in that starry night I saw 22 shooting stars.
How profound is that?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Pre-sence as a suspect.....

Ah since I last wrote,  the winter solstice found me jumping over a fire and leaving the unwanted aspects of self behind.  A rather big fire that the kids glided over effortlessly.  For me it was more of an effort.  I still have some issues that need shedding.  The queen had her jubilee and I became aware of how even she is a puppet.  I mean what reptilian overlord would stand in the rain for so many days in such dismal situation with the poor Brits trying to be pompous and ceremonious but to me just looking like sodden sheep.

Madonna continues her world tour with her whole satanic stage show and her crowds of supporters who must have come directly from lobotomy are us inc.   The sabers rattle over Syria and Iran but then Colorado had some pretty hectic fires.  My take on it is that it was indeed arson but a direct veiled threat to the Obama administration that there are many ways to wage a war and this is just one of them.  So it has mostly been Israel jumping up and down in her guilded poison cage.   I was saddened beyond measure at the failed assassination attempt on Hilary Clinton in Egypt.  Equally saddened that it did not get any msm news coverage.
And to think I used to be a Buddhist and wish no one harm.  Well times change and hearts harden and soften simultaneously.

Well that is yesterdays news which is the same as the day before yesterdays news which is the same as the news 10 years ago.
Today it is early in the morning and I am wrapped up warmly and walking down to the police station.  India, the boxer dog that lives with me follows me and I only discover this after three blocks.  Take her home.  She gives me that concerned look.  She knows me so dam well.  Take her home and ensure she stays there and head off again.  I am determined to be a present as possible.  I don't want to go one minute into the future otherwise I am in the mental plane.  I don't want to head into the past otherwise I slip into stories.

The smoke of wood fires dominates the senses.  As well as the ice on my skin.  The trees are all completely naked.  And yet on the ground there are carpets of winter flowers called sour suckers.  They stand tall.  I pick one and suck on the end.  Then I recall that it probably has dog pee on it.  Spit it out.  Get to the police station.  The two inspectors greet me and ask me to wait  by the car.   Also waiting by the car is a young woman with a babe in her arms.  We are going to be co travelers.  Her babe has a blanket over its head and it wants out,  It's little arms keep trying to swipe it away but she diligently places it back in place. I am a suspect and she is a complainant.
So how did I get here awaiting a lift to court in a police car.

Greta, whom I have mentioned before had left an abusive relationship and moved in here with Matthew.   I was present at this birth and we thus have a rather deep connection.   It took an enormous amount of courage for her to leave the home that she had created.  She carries the deepest feelings of unworthiness I have met in a person and at the same time is the most dynamically alive and radiant being. 

Every relationship has an energy body surrounding it.  This particular one had a combination of ahdd, crystal meth, alcohol, physical violence.  In between that there were some sweet notes of connectivity,  guitar,  and ummm guitar and oh I think that is it.  So this energy field was prone to drama on a large scale.  Drama and violence.  The partner is a huge man - well over 6 foot 7.  She is tiny.  Just pops 5.2.  She had left him many times before but when out on her own with Matthew the world just seemed to dismal and frightening and the energy field would pull her back.

So this time I got a message in my dreams that she was to move in with us and I was to offer her my home for ever if need be.    And between the drama and threats from him we had a lot of fun.    Every home should have two women.    Cooking together, cleaning together, aware of what was needed.  Scraping the pennies together for electricity.  Laughing through some extremely challenging financial times.  It was really cool to have someone to aid and abet with.  And Matthew was the cherry on top of the cake.

Of course it was not all sweetness.  Hence I am on my way to court as a suspect in a criminal injuria case.  This happened after he had sent the cops to our home for 3 days in a row claiming that she was threatening his safety.  I mentioned his size hey.  And that he had attacked Tao, my 17 year old son.  And that he had called the police to search our property claiming he was 100 percent sure we had vast quantities of cannabis in our possession.  He worked on the property adjoining ours and his presence was a constant threat.  But we endured.   And on the second day my ailing, dying mother in law saw the police coming again and in her dementia tried to get up to see what was going on and fell cutting her head open and needing stitches.  On the third day it was Matthew's party and the police arrived in the midst of all these sweet innocent kids to serve Greta papers.

And at that point I just lost it.  I stormed over there and called him a little man.  He told me to go and smoke a bong and I told him to go and smoke his meth.
Well blow me down the next day the police come and issue me with papers for criminal injuria.  I can pay a fine or I can go to court.  Well what would you do?
So a case is opened,  I am finger printed and three thousand pages are filled in about this incident.   So the main charge was that I had called him a little man and shown him my middle finger.  Can you believe it in this country,  with the one of the highest murder and rape rates in the world the police actually take this case on?

And when this all started I was in the midst of a 10 week process dealing with presence.  A very powerful and a very uncomfortable journey.  But one that hey guess what evoked Pre-sence.

So today with the mist lifting and the earth smoking and the mountains magically appearing and the sun rampantly breaking through, I was with each breath as it unfolded.  Smelling the smells in the car.  Watching how Cosntable van Dyk kept breaking the speed limit.  Having to hit my imaginary brakes a few times.

And then we get to court.  Shit on the toilet seat.  No chairs whilst we wait.  I have been standing in the passage for an hour.   Still fascinated at how the pants the males were wearing were all at half mast but never sank beyond that.  I positioned myself where a shaft of light reached me.  I closed my eyes, folded my arms and sank into the sanctuary that I have come to know as my Self.

All was well in my world.    Some time later someone tapped me on the shoulder to tell me the prosecutor had thrown the case out.

Walking home till someone who drove past would give me a lift,  I find myself moving through the town.  The day is warming up.  I take off a scarf.  I cross the bridge.  I walk past the sewerage plant.   Walking fast and easily I past a row of ancient blue gums.  I am compelled to greet each one individually.  I get to the river.  It is heavy and swollen and flowing fast.

I return home and spend the day on the couch watching the light filter through the trees.
Thanking life for the miracle of each moment.  Thanking life for the miracle of each breath.
And thanking life most of all for the magic of Light.

There is no doubt that the changes we have been told are coming are here.
It is no longer about stockpiling food or ensure physical survival.
I really get that the only thing that is worth doing right now is finding out once and for all who we really are.
And it is not the limited being we have been sold as our birthright.

We are the all knowing, omnipotent, omnipresence here on earth at this time.
Breathe in,  feel it,  know it, celebrate it.
With much love and respect to you all.

If you do read this, please talk to me again, I so love conversation.

Highly recommended   -

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Buddha