Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Balancing heaven and earth .......then again maybe not.

Everything I could say about the unfolding right now have been said far more eloquently by so many others. Such profound insights being offered and imbibed .  What a gift to be able to gain greater understanding of a situation from others who have a clearer perspective.  A greater reasoning.   And yet I happened upon these images and wanted to showcase them.
And then of course the need for expression arose.

For my birthday I was gifted with a tent.
A three  man  abode.
A month after this day,  I was gifted with the impetus to find a new space.
I had no idea what this looked like, but I just needed the subtlest of shifts.
Ah ha – the tent.

I have a new bedroom now.
It is under the pecan nut trees by the little dam.
Faces west – and each night for the past while I have been lying awake in my tent, flap open, branches wavering,  planets planetings,  moon visiting. 
In my old bedroom with thick walls, the night wake ups were kind of tedious.
Could not switch a light on as it would disturb my bed partner, Pieter or otherwise Iona when he was away.
So I would lie  silently and try to quieten the mind.
Which is impossible in the middle of the night.
It has had enough rest it wants to play with the information racing around inside.
It wants to replay all the images it has collected during the day.  The complexities of the unfolding.   It wants to work it all out.  It wants to understand.  And it wants to understand so it can find peace.
Whereas at the end of the day, the tiredness starts shutting down non necessary applications – the mind being one of them.

The old space had also changed character and application without any conviction from me which left the slightest taste of bitterness in the mouth.

She pouts  slightly.

Ah but now I have this space where I don’t have any desire to turn on a light and read myself back into stillness.   No, now with almost walls I am content to lie there and feel the air on my face.  The busy mind is also okay.  Why would this make such a difference?

I have this space where I am serenaded by birds upon awaking at all times of the night.
Whenever I get up my bare feet touch the earth.
Moving closer to her.
To sleep on her surface with only a mattress between us.,
To feel the wind pushing its way towards me. 
To see the lightening flashing all around .
Even the dreams are infinitely richer.
Hearing  the owl, rooster, early morning trucks laden with grapes heading to market.
Every night I sort of shiver in pure delight at the prospect of heading out into the darkness to my tent.

Iona graces me with her presence.  She also now wonders how come people sleep indoors on floors.  We are lucky enough to sleep in a tent but have the blessing of a house with all its multiple functions. 

Of course with the onset of winter this romance could well be over.  Iona challenged me to travel through this winter in this new way of being.  When there will be (god willing ) a blazing log fire in the kitchen/lounge are we really going to head out into the wind and rain and make our way to the tent.   Elementally the wind has always been my challenge.  It speaks of such power and intent in equalizing.   The way she just gets everything to move. I wonder.  What am I in for?
Last night, was the first autumnal dance the trees performed. 
Slightly creaking, slightly jarring.

The last few moon phases have been about seeing the tenuousness of life at every turn.
And eventually for sanity or by grace, the acceptance of that fragility.  
The uncertainty of it all.    Even acceptance of the seeming lack of wisdom and love so prevalent.
Even with zero signs of divine intelligence apart from living creatures around us. 

And for some unknown reason an increasing trust in This as it unfolds.