An early morning treasure hunt

It is my birthday.
My beautiful daughter Iona wakes up early, makes breakfast for me and presents it so beautifully.
With so much love and enjoyment.
I am then led outside where I have my own treasure hunt.  The kittens follow us.
First she leads me to under the sweet chestnut , then to pigeon hok and landing up at the little plant I love most.  And there under the Santa Maria was a bag and in that bag was a glass picture frame in a heart shaped box.  She has changed the picture in it several times already.  Like a hand version of the digital photo frame.   First she put in a picture of me on Mount Aranachula, a year before her birth.  My hands are in a position of prayer and I was so fully in the vortex the entire time I was there.  So it was interesting that she chose that.  She then put in a picture of Tyler and Pia- well drawing representations of them.  Now there is a tree with the sun rising to the left.  All her drawings – her showcase.

I get a lift into town and I sit in the back.  I like sitting in the back.  I lose the need to sort of parent and co captain.  So I just sat back and really focus on the landscape.  It is the most beautiful summer day.   The vines have created a thick tapestry of green.  And I will drop any pontification at this point because it would detract from the magnificence.  The sky is startling blue with an occasional very white cloud contrasting.  I spot a few leaves becoming autumnal, an ever such slight chill once the sun is gone.  I see so clearly how blessed I am.  I live in the most beautiful landscape imaginable.  Open, surrounded my mountains.  I feel this grace.  I see my friends in the front of the car and again I am aware of the blessings.  The tarred road, the eagles and crows flying overhead, the scent of fecundity everywhere.  The honey bees here still happy as there is no cell tower nearby.  And the more we drive the deeper I sink into that transformative space of gratitude.  

I arrive home unpack produce and head to Lesley.  She is slumped into a funny shape and it is hard to contort her into a normal pattern.   Apparently morphia does that.   I don’t know what to do, I have never been with someone so close to death before.  Not human.  So I did what I always do with dying animals – I sing to them.  But this time was different.  This time I had the Daime songs and what is more with all the ceremonies in December my voice had strengthened and I knew the songs quite well, which makes a difference.  So I sang the English ones, and each one was as if the collective of the community was present in that space.  The voice was the whole.  I sang and I sang and I sang.
There is wilde dagga outside her bedroom window and a birdbath.  So whenever she opens her eyes there is a sunbird or a dove.   And her eyes shine.  She tries to talk and I tell her she really does not need to and she with relief goes back to pure awareness in her beautiful garden.
With the healing sun pouring its light onto the vegetation. 

I take myself off to the well.  
The dark space in the heated village.
 A place guaranteed to allow silence.    There were 5 candles around the well and 3 candles against the wall. 
Donged the gong also 53 times, one for each sun rotation.   It took a long time.  A very long time and yet each vibration was equally profound.   Iona is reading this as I write and she tells me that there are also 53 countries in Africa and that I donged for them to.  Yeah why not.  With a lot of love.


Ricky made me a carrot cake with lemon icing and a friend took me to dinner.  
And in the past where birthdays were somehow a distant memory of the birth process and suddenly realizing in the process remembering that I was already forgetting, I was already been sucked away from the source.  There was always on that astrological date a contraction.  This year a round of gratitude brought on a totally different experience.  Pieter was away, so that old patterning was also deactivated.
I love it when the parasitic mind gets caught before it spins the web of illusion.
And I must also love it when I am spinning within the illusion because I can only get what I ask for.
Because of yes being the only word.   It takes away the potential arising of victim hood and something at the mercy of something outside of oneself.  Making each interaction worthy and of value   something unfolds whenever I go out on my walks now. A phrase arises and the phrase that arises is
 I am that.
Upon seeing the leaf –  I am that.
Upon seeing the snail – I am that.
Upon seeing the honey sucker or septic tank sucker – I am that. 
I am everything I happen upon. 
 And I am the sun in the midday and as it sets.  I am the moon and the starts, the sea and the wind.    Makes the walking even more magical – something I thought was not possible.  For an hour a day.

I come here to write this and I just know all the right buttons for a picture to enter my mind about the world right now.   I see massive snow storms, earthquakes, volcanic rumblings. 
The earth has to shake – she has to shake herself free.
We are all protected.
We are not these bodies.
We are pure light – there is a collective re-remembering of this.
And the fear lessens and we find ourselves liberated from the paradigm of limitation and loss.  We find ourselves spending more time in awe at the infinite possibilities of being.  We start to laugh more, laugh deeper.  And it is not because life got any easier it is just that we start to see that we have been looking in the wrong places for spirit.

On that note I think it is time to step outside into the village and see who I bump into.  See who is painted in the canvas.
Just one long adventure…………..
Ever changing,  devotional………
 So much awakening ......


bholanath said…
Birthday blessings, Aquarian sister. Much gratitude for your offerings today and always, here and elsewhere.
Terrance said…
Hello Su.......wonderful...thank you
Your daughter is so careful & responsive. She celebrated your happy birthday of 53 years.
Anonymous said…

your daughter, such a gift, your birthday...thank you for sharing.
Love and Respect
Brandon Jones said…
Hi Su,

It is hard to focus on my own happiness when there are so many injustices going on all around.

Your experience touches me because it speaks to a part of me that I don't yet fully understand - deep love and understanding.

I also started noticing myself in others, especially the one's I judge.

Much Love.
su said…
Ah bholonath,
fellow carrier of water.
praise great spirit for our connection.

You have no idea how much joy it gives me when someone comments. Really does. So thank you for always letting me know you were here and you partook.

Jacob.j - I see you are the quintessential treasure hunters. I am going to go and explore your pages and bounty. Again thank you for talking.

Ravi - Yes. The leaves are turning autunmal and although this is normally the drop dead heat time of year there is a nip and the leaves are changing. Two months early, but what is time anyway? Last night needed a sleeping bag as well.
I always resist summers departure.

Brandon, my fellow traveller on the Daime path. the last ceremony i looked over at one time and you had this smile and you were moving to the music and you were just so totally, totally in bliss.
Noticing is such a cool tool - nice when we find ourselves carrying it more and more. A bit like a Swiss army knife.
Anonymous said…
Happy very late birthday wishes,,sorry bout that

Love and deep respect,,,neil
Anonymous said…


su said…
Thanks Neil,

I realised today that my tent is a womb. The space at 6 months gestation. All is accesable and cozy and yet there is space around one. Not too much and not too little.
LifeinCreation said…
Hi Sue,

It is with incredible sadness and a heavy heart that I share this with you:

Our dear poet and friend Neil has passed away, unexpectedly on Friday.

I am beside myself with grief.

I have posted a tribute to him on my site, please visit and leave a comment in his memory:

Rest in Peace, Neil Rogers

~ Erin ~
Anonymous said…

hi su,

this is what i did with my bed this winter. futon with 1 3/4" Merino wool mattress pad, german flannel sheets, kapok pillow and body pillow- that we used to call a Gooling in Dutch East India- also filled with kapok. My futon and quilt are not new, the rest is and boy is it glorious to be getting into bed on a cold wintery night.
There is nothing like having a safe space to get into.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful green space.
with love and respect,
Anon said…
Belated Happy Birthday!

- Aangirfan
Dublinmick said…
I am looking for the asteroid post you gave us. You know, make it fast quick and redeeming. I want to repost it. Best post I have seen on the internet. It still stands!

I have some good news, we will all be the spirit .. after they destroy the world, Most of it anyway. All Cali dolphin are radioactive now. But you know they will still keep eating it .......

Lets get it over with girl

I love you SU

Meanwhile I will still keep pointing out some serious shit her LOL ............
Dublinmick said…
I found it

So looking at this landscape from so many angles, my prayer is that the inevitable comes sooner than later. And that the final act is an act of god and not man. Whether it be a blast from the sun, or a direct asteroid hit. Let it be fast, let it be swift, let it be redeeming.

You are real girl

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