the ongoing ceremony....

Exactly a year ago a friend sent me the necessary ingredients to make an ayahuasca blend.
I fretted and strained, boiled and hoped to gain, ventured into the mountains and drank the blend .....
nothing.  Not an increased pulse, not a wandering flame, not a subtle shift of consciousness.
And yet the outward changes were vast.

Last Saturday i sat again in ceremony.  A Brazilian shaman led the way.  Depth of music, light, presence of my fellow travellers,  all very beautiful and again nothing.  People purging, transforming, shaping, confronting and me just sitting there watching it all, breathing it all,  willing it all.  But again no shift of consciousness.

So there have been four ceremonies to date and there has been no tangible effect of the plant working on any level during these sacred spaces.  And in between all hell has broken loose.  All those areas where I am not being true to myself have risen like a fresh army to battle.  Reality has opened the doors to perception and I find myself flailing between falling and flying.

The very things I used to do so effortlessly, like buying toilet paper, electricity, ink cartridges become more and more difficult.  I find less and less holding me onto this paradigm.  It all seems so very pointless.  Have to force myself to give it relevance.

Yesterday I headed for the mountains alone.  Something needed to shift and I was powerless to enable this.
As I stepped onto the path a big fat lizard walked right in front of me and stopped.  We looked at each other for a long time.  And then it was down, down, down.  Walked until the sun became overwhelming and a young gorge called me with her ferns and sound of splashing water.  A frog greeted me as I stepped onto a rock.  Drank for an eternity the clean mountain water and lay down as if to die.  The flowing water shaping my breath,  urging me to that space where there is just nothingness.   A cape robin bravely came and perched very close to me and would then fly off to splash in the water and then return to me.  Almost like a guide ensuring my attention was in place.  I breathed and chanted and lay still for many, many hours.  A culmination of ceremonies.  Body getting heavier and sinking deeper into the earth. 

The clouds forming and dissolving in the mountain stillness.  No permanence.  No impermanence either.
Rubbing my palms together and holding them over my closed eyes I sank into the blackness of being.  The pure darkness, beautiful because of the absence of light.  The noumenon.  Pre-existence.  The source of all.
After several minutes in this space of pure being I removed my hands and with eyes closed the sun shone right into me, with a brililance and radiance and ecstasy that no plant can give.  In the presence of a vibrancy and frequency that left me in complete awe and gratitude.

All these teachers,  the plants, the earth, the sun, friends, family, animals.  The majesty that lies in the most ordinary aspects defies description and yet has me bowing at its feet.  Again and again and again.



su said…
Ah and my beloved son and close ally left home on my birthday to stretch into manhood.
Has a job at a feline sanctuary between the forest and the ocean.
The sweetness of release.
nina said…
What you are expressing here tells us the ceremony was always within you and will always remain your authentic self. Not just a part, but the whole person who can perform mundane chores and communicate on all levels, Lizard to midwives to local law enforcement to the unschool to Oona and Thank You and with the Sun.

After the Haight Ashbury we used to hear the Straights say on TV there were flashbacks. Heh, all these years later and where are they, I'd be delighted to have one or two, but YOU are in your state of existence ALL the time proving ayahuasca a better cement for this journey than unpredictable black market chemicals. Nothing fake lasts.

And now, is it Tao off to the sanctuary(?), your effort has proved a beautiful success for all, Jack would purr in satisfaction. Something tells me your beloved son won't be the only one of your children following in his footsteps. Do you see what amazing things are rooted in your love? PRAISES!

Anon said…
The cats will be well looked after.

- Aangirfan
john said…
that sounds like a beautiful experience in a beautiful place. looking forward to the warming sun again.
Anonymous said…
Maybe take a look at this one. I am trying to put two and two together again.

Electric fields can change the color of stars. As you know I have long speculated on this red sky prophecy to point of wonder what could cause it, even pondering the gulf erupting from the large gas field under it covering five states. Probably wrong but I was taking a shot at it anyway.

Well if you look at what they are saying concerning the pyramid, they are speaking of red energy.

"Vedic superfluid crystalline technologies kindle the human light body into resonance with earth's magnetic alignment of 2012, a cosmic illumination of red light." emphasis on "red."

Now we come to strange boulders appearing in the tops of trees weighing hundreds of pounds, nobody can figure how they got there ... other than the standing wave theory of infrasound making them lighter than gravity. It is probably causing crop circles. Granite boulders do collect this energy and it appears to collect at tree top levels also as the giant 3500 year old cypress near me here burned up near me, spontaneous combustion. Could be a case of an energized rock finding the top of a standing wave which happens to be a nearby tree.

Could also be that Michelangelo was not as crazy as the vatican thought he was when he talked of the final judgement and produced the painting, people rising above gravity into the air. It could well be scientific as in end of a 26,000 year cycle. Even the Mayans say this one will be like no other cycle ever witnessed on planet earth.

Anonymous said…

Don't know what got into me.

Anonymous said…

Don't know what got into me.

Anonymous said…

Nano gold and silver the soma of the Gods which produces the crystal skull! It is also apparently necessary for the vimana, or flying saucer of the ancient vedics.

Anonymous said…

Nano gold and silver the soma of the Gods which produces the crystal skull! It is also apparently necessary for the vimana, or flying saucer of the ancient vedics.

su said…
Ah John and Dub,

Just been to see what you are up to.
Good to see you in this neck of the woods.
Anonymous said…
Angel you are still one of my favorites and your pronouncement we need an asteroid, make if fast, make it big, make it redeeming is still my favorites of anything I have seen on the web. It was was proof positive you understand the age of kali and your spirit is not for sale. I love ya girl.

You are in a relatively good place. The people there rely on nature for the most part so they are not forsaken. Reach out to all and sundry spirits, all sentient beings who find themselves on this plane at this time, it may be in actuality a great gift. Many souls have chosen to come here for this time. We are moving towards 12. 12 a great time for humanity, stay the course.

Terrance said…
Hello Su.....simple is powerful ......enjoyed your trip.....special bunch of natives here!.....onelove

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