Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Balancing heaven and earth .......then again maybe not.

Everything I could say about the unfolding right now have been said far more eloquently by so many others. Such profound insights being offered and imbibed .  What a gift to be able to gain greater understanding of a situation from others who have a clearer perspective.  A greater reasoning.   And yet I happened upon these images and wanted to showcase them.
And then of course the need for expression arose.




For my birthday I was gifted with a tent.
A three  man  abode.
A month after this day,  I was gifted with the impetus to find a new space.
I had no idea what this looked like, but I just needed the subtlest of shifts.
Ah ha – the tent.

I have a new bedroom now.
It is under the pecan nut trees by the little dam.
Faces west – and each night for the past while I have been lying awake in my tent, flap open, branches wavering,  planets planetings,  moon visiting. 
In my old bedroom with thick walls, the night wake ups were kind of tedious.
Could not switch a light on as it would disturb my bed partner, Pieter or otherwise Iona when he was away.
So I would lie  silently and try to quieten the mind.
Which is impossible in the middle of the night.
It has had enough rest it wants to play with the information racing around inside.
It wants to replay all the images it has collected during the day.  The complexities of the unfolding.   It wants to work it all out.  It wants to understand.  And it wants to understand so it can find peace.
Whereas at the end of the day, the tiredness starts shutting down non necessary applications – the mind being one of them.

The old space had also changed character and application without any conviction from me which left the slightest taste of bitterness in the mouth.

She pouts  slightly.



Ah but now I have this space where I don’t have any desire to turn on a light and read myself back into stillness.   No, now with almost walls I am content to lie there and feel the air on my face.  The busy mind is also okay.  Why would this make such a difference?

I have this space where I am serenaded by birds upon awaking at all times of the night.
Whenever I get up my bare feet touch the earth.
Moving closer to her.
To sleep on her surface with only a mattress between us.,
To feel the wind pushing its way towards me. 
To see the lightening flashing all around .
Even the dreams are infinitely richer.
Hearing  the owl, rooster, early morning trucks laden with grapes heading to market.
Every night I sort of shiver in pure delight at the prospect of heading out into the darkness to my tent.

Iona graces me with her presence.  She also now wonders how come people sleep indoors on floors.  We are lucky enough to sleep in a tent but have the blessing of a house with all its multiple functions. 

Of course with the onset of winter this romance could well be over.  Iona challenged me to travel through this winter in this new way of being.  When there will be (god willing ) a blazing log fire in the kitchen/lounge are we really going to head out into the wind and rain and make our way to the tent.   Elementally the wind has always been my challenge.  It speaks of such power and intent in equalizing.   The way she just gets everything to move. I wonder.  What am I in for?
Last night, was the first autumnal dance the trees performed. 
Slightly creaking, slightly jarring.



The last few moon phases have been about seeing the tenuousness of life at every turn.
And eventually for sanity or by grace, the acceptance of that fragility.  
The uncertainty of it all.    Even acceptance of the seeming lack of wisdom and love so prevalent.
Even with zero signs of divine intelligence apart from living creatures around us. 

And for some unknown reason an increasing trust in This as it unfolds.




 

24 comments:

john said...

Nice one su! yes we have been shown the fragility of life lately. Here is a link to the first and only daily blog that I followed.
ditchmonkey

This fellow slept outside in the countryside here, without a tent, through a year with a very cold winter and would commute daily to his job at Sothebys in London. It was instructive and funny as well.

Thanks for the lovely photos too.

cheers

Anonymous said...

well I think your new space is brilliant,I suppose like all new spaces everywhere,helps with the creativity atunes us I suppose,sometimes subtly other times in full potency,mystery clarifying everything for a few moments..

nice stuff su,will be over with a poem tommorow have to write one for chickory and mrs life,burnie aswell and joe bageant,well everyone really...

p.s really good pictures

love and respects neil

su said...

hey john,

well if he can do it through an english winter? ah the challenge gathers strength. will go and visit the blog.

and neil,
yeah anything different magnifies the difference.
last night there were an ungodly number of teens (some of them mine) noisily chatting in the garden till all hours. with the absence of walls the sound was n the tent with me.
then these same teens left the dogs out who in their protectiveness barked every few minutes just so i would think they were doing a good job..
a bit of a bear with a sore head today.

LifeinCreation said...

Hi Su!  (Hi Neil!)
Beautiful post.  I have been finding myself impatient with the winter and longing to be able to be outside again.  You have now amplified the longing.  I do take walks through the snow, but am not able to linger too long due to the cold.    Though one afternoon I bundled up well and took a little seat outside with me and sat in the clearing by my house, soaking in the rare sun, and wrote a poem.  
As your summer fades so does my winter, slowly.  It is such a gift to be close to Mother.  She has a wonderful way of soothing worries and bringing peace.  I cannot wait
to again be able to swing in the hammock between the trees, with the birds chasing each other through the
branches above me, and to walk in the forest, and to work in my garden.  
Sorry to go on like this, but your musings sparked
something in me, and I just can't wait to spend my days
outdoors again, in Nature's embrace.

Timster said...

"...It has had enough rest it wants to play with the information racing around inside."
Lovely thoughts.

su said...

Life In Creation.
I am a full blooded reptile. Not of the Ike variety.
I could never do a northern hemisphere winter without serious drugs, even then i would die within a short time span.

when i talk about our winters, they would be regarded as temperate. some mornings we might have frost and reach zero but by midday it will shoot up to 20 degrees Celsius.
totally unspoiled by the amount of outdoor time available.

your hammock sounds good - i used to have one but it landed up as some experiment and when i next try to alight upon it - i rather ungracefully with much foul language kissed the earth hard, butt first.

timster - and play they do.

su said...

and because this one is very good :





----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Lavinia Bolton
To: Ann Duffield ; Gaye Strassen ; jen farmer ; Jill Goldston
Sent: Wed, 23 March, 2011 18:54:52
Subject: FW: It pays to know your sheep from your goats . . . .

. . . .






A farmer named Bill was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Wales when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bill looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bill.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.

Then Bill says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Bill.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep...

.... now give me back my bloody dog.

Zoner said...

Beautiful. Just the kind of thing that makes turning on this infernal machine nourishment rather than another hit of despair.

Thanks for filling my cup.

Z

nina said...

I was thinking of your tonight, I often think of you, the man brought home Chinese food. My fortune cookie read Be patient: In time, even an egg will walk.

Love,
nina 1 (in case it passed your mind this was nina 2's fortune.)

Your tent is the neatest thing I've heard of. Giving me ideas, like a mesh-domed tent art studio with a flap to zip in place for rain. No one to interrupt me. Paint dawn. Paint passing Elk. Pray with the sage and Oaks...

The photography you chose, (no digitals those, is miraculous, religiously so. The site, a keeper. Very special. >gratitude<
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

Anonymous said...

simplified complexity
majesticly inspired
clarified sincerity
drawn of lighting higher
fire on the mountainside
water of the spring
swirling equilibrium
chase across the wind
reverberating outwardly
nature in expressed
invigorating nourishment
internally in pressed
verses of the springtime
resonating flowers
brush into humanity
naturaly empowers

..peace..

Anonymous said...

sorry its so late susie su..
but I am glad I left it didnt push as that sort of wrote itself...

love neil

su said...

z,
well thanks for emptying it first :).

nina,
well how is this.
a chinese philosopher - a chinese cookie factory - a fire keeper - a nina - an image - a 16 year old cian's birthday.
a card is printed with the egg - to me it is just the most stunning image. but words evade me.
until your come tumbling through the ethers - so the kid gets a card with the image of an egg on an african plain, penned in a silver pen and messy writing it goes 'even an egg will one day walk. may you find balance and joy this year".
he voted it most profoundly abstract card of the year.
what an honour - thanks love.

neil,
how do these words unravel themselves so clearly and so pertinently.
i love it - each line.
thank you.

Anon said...

Very good.

- Aangirfan

Anonymous said...

thanks su,and hello mr aangirfan thanks for all your writings and timster aswell...neil

Gudrun said...

Hi su :)
Loved your post.
I really laughed at your comment about not wanting to live with the winters of the northern hemisphere. Here I sit,in Germany, yearning and glaring at the thermometer to give me a signal that spring is on it´s way. It´s been 6 months!!!

Getting close to nature....ah, I have been dreaming of it for ages. Will be hopping on a plane to Johannesburg soon and then it´s straight off into the bush. Home is calling. Can´t wait!
Those stunning photos increased the hunger for peace and quite amongst those animals and the South African bush.

Things are pretty wild at the moment, but your one sentence resonated with me immensely and will leave it as my last comment too. :)

much love
Gudrun

"...And for some unknown reason an increasing trust in This as it unfolds."


ps. I had to laugh, my word verification was so close to the Zulu word Kuhle! Kuhle = good. Go figure.

dublinmick said...

Still my favorite girl! A moment of clear thought!

"So looking at this landscape from so many angles, my prayer is that the inevitable comes sooner than later. And that the final act is an act of god and not man. Whether it be a blast from the sun, or a direct asteroid hit. Let it be fast, let it be swift, let it be redeeming."

A wise old American indian I knew once said, in order to live you must be willing to die.

You know it is part of the trade off. I wish I had named my blog easy rider, classic.

I am sending you all the electronic love I can muster!

su said...

dublinmick,
receiving all the electric love you can muster.

just read joe bageant died on the 26/11/2011. he must be delighted to be off the stage of this crazy high school musical.

nina said...

The tent was in your future. I found this from 2009:

... And roam we do.
And don't forget the howling.
A symphony unfolds when the moon is high.
Not as a complaint but just at the sheer joy of the open space and freedom that we find ourselves in.


XO

dublinmick said...

I would imagine Joe is feeling pity for the rest of us about now. I am sure the worst part of it is leaving loved ones behind in Dante's Inferno.


I have over the years put this poem up and it still amazes me.

http://poetry.poetryx.com/poems/1683/

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

su said...

gudrunn,
posted a comment to you the other day but see it absented itself.

i too love the bushveld. that openness, vastness, resilience. and those night skies with the pulsating stars. ooh i think i feel some envy.
will you be coming anywhere near the cape?

nina - excellent find. yeah it was on the cards.
the strangest thing about sleeping in a tent is despite waking up often, sounds, rustles etc. when one does sleep, it is a much deeper more restful happening.
not sure why that is.

dublinmick,
yeah how does one leave one's loved one's in this mess. hence my wish for a direct instant hit.
all together now. here was a lovely tribute that gave some personal lifestyle about the man http://www.fredoneverything.net/.

yeah, the madness continues.
and equally the simplicity unfolds.

dublinmick said...

SU
I have read Fred for years, have him linked on the blog. The man is just down right funny and real.

Fred knows the score, the only thing we leave this world with that matter are memories of good friends.

I am wondering what a jalapena martini would taste like though.

dublinmick said...

This year we're going to experience four unusual dates. 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that's not all.

Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born -now add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone...!!
This is the year of Money.

This year October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Saturdays. This happens only every 823 years.

su said...

dublinmick,

i am most interested in the 11/11/11.
11 is a master number. 22 is a master number. and 33 is uber master number.

su said...

dublinmick,

last night it rained, for the first time in ages.
such a deeply needed rain.
all over the village, people are sinking boreholes so they can have pretty green lawns.
and as a result the water table has dropped to 180 meters. even the older trees are battling.

and everything is covered with a baked mud. the grasses were too stiff to bend.

and yet this rain fell, this really gentle rain.
and it fell all night.
no horiffic power and might, just the most beautiful rain.
and in the tent is was my own beatbox.

and today the cloud cover remains and the water can slowly seep into the earth. not be evaporated and not run off.

why is there harmony here and not there?

has it got anything to do with karma.
i used to not belief in it, but i see it coming.
at what point does the most stupid of leaders say , hey i see a sign here that all is not well. i see a sign here of a power determined to teach a lesson. i see signs here and yet i continue to destroy, lives, hopes, peace.

and earth in her anger whips up these little cocktails to throw into the pod. just mix with ice and wind, or wind and water.

that will teach ye all.
the divine mother reaches the point where she has to set a boundary.
this is it - find a new of being or you don't move from this space for an eternity.

i am going for a walk to the reserve with the dogs. with the pleasure of clouds for company and variety.
this moment has indeed become sacred.

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Buddha