A great being comes our way.....

 The seer and the seen as One.

I seem to have lost my way in the world somehow.
Perhaps necessary for  loneliness to grow to alone-ness.
There was a time,  literally a few blinks of the eyelids ago, when I was forging my way into the wilderness with 4 young kids, breaking every rule of conventional parenthood.  None of it which has seriously turned round to bite me on the arse.

And there was a page that gave my words space to fly, and this life expression a stage to be shared.
I loved the space and the people that came to visit.
We would visit each others blogs and share insights and love ......
and then the internet changed and it was easy to click  and click and click and click and click and click and click.
In this case anyway -
On a constant search that could never be satisfied.
Some days I would open the browsing history and would be appalled at the amount of mindless data I had regurgitated into the digital  ethers,  forever to roam in their substancelessness.

And in between bathing in the truth of the true teachings.

But increasingly ice-o-lating myself from all but the household.

Today this blog insisted on being  opened up again.
To reconnect in a way that requires effort and integrity.
To share at these times when we really need to share.
And mostly to love ......  in the way we have all mastered.

Life since I last wrote evolved and swung about in seemingly impossible happenings.
Strength has proven  the  greatest ally.
The new agers postulate forgiveness -  which means surrender to what is and make it alright.   Which suits the nefarious agenda brilliantly.  But I have done a fair shair of riding into battle.

I recall finding young children required sustantial energy, but older children  becoming adults who had not been schooled by the system but by Alan Watts and Terrance McKenna (their choice)   required energy and leaps in understanding  that I never knew possible.    They travelled to realms I could not compute and taught me to see.

Tao went off to Germany as predicted when he was very young - that he would be a traveller.  Iona decided not only did she want to finish high school but that she wanted to attend one in the city.  So her and Pieter are in the city for the duration of this project..  And I do have to mention how she is absolutely thriving.  She has such a total love of knowledge and learning.  So my precious daughter moved out into the world.  And returns here on long weekends and holidays where she marvels at the peace, space, familiarity.

So remaining in the McGregor hamlet were Cian, Sage and myself.
Cian and Sage were in a rather restless space feeling trapped in a small village with no prospects.  And no girls (like none)....... And a high police interest.  
Although the high home continued to be a magnet to the youth and there was always a happening.
Nevertheless  they were restless.  Purposeless.

One day they went out for a walk and Cian told  Sage, that he was ready to meet his spirit animal.
The very next day some children brought two very young spotted eagle owl  chics to us that were covered with ants.  The nest on the ground had been cleared.  They were very young.
The sibling did not make it.
Cian would wake up at night, he was the first protector.  It was an intense introduction to fatherhood.   That owl brought such meaning to him and she loved and adored him. 

The brothers  spent their days making darts to shoot prey for her. 
They became master hunters.
 In the heat they would head out seeking food.  Hours upon summer hours.  
Knowing at a young age the responsibility of providing sustenance for another.

I recall one day sitting in the garden.   Athena was on a log in front of me.  She was still fluffy and her eyes were yellow, we were looking directly at each other.  Her yellow eyes blinked and when they opened a second later they had turned golden.
To be witness to that ..... there are no words.

  Athena was getting wilder and wilder  Spending more time flying around the village.  People would stop me in the street to explain how she had flown to their space and landed on them as they were asking life changing questions.   She was like a wandering shaman.  But she always  returned .

Cian was offered an opportunity away from home. He leapt at it. 
Sage took over the care of Athena.   And then he signed on for an anti rhino poaching unit.   The day he left Athena left.......  And I was all alone in a sprawling ancient home without this power being.

A rastafarian found some chjildren, some distance awy beating her with sticks.
They were in the process of killing her.  He had been in this garden and had met her so he intervened and brough a broken spirited being back.  Not only spirit, her one eye was damaged, as well as a wing and a leg.

Sage returned -  she needed regular food to build up - she needed her caregiver.

And slowly she healed.
She was smudged.
She was sung to.
She was fed lots.

The other day she was sitting on a totem pole in the garden.
My back was turned to her.
A voice reminded me of how since she had come into my life, the only song, I had sung was  a mantra to Kali.   My daily song.  And how often when she was very young when I would chance this young bird would come and sit by my feet with her head bowed forward.   So I turned around and sang it to her. 
At the moment I turned around she was in owl mode.  Eyes wide open making an occasional owl grunt.  Alert, wide eyed.  And then her ears raised and she closed her eyes and they became heavy lidded Buddha eyes.  She would open them and for a moment glance at him,  direct darshan from a Master in the body of an owl.
Sage came into the garden and immediately she became an owl again, wide eyed and grunting.

There are so many in this household, residents and guests, and outsiders who have their own stories to tell of their profound interactions with her.

Last night there was a vicious storm.
I abdicated the tent and came indoors.
Athena was brought inside where she sometimes sits as a sentry on the fridge.
There was a roaring fire which was warming 4 humans, 3 cats, 2 dogs.
She flew onto everyone, in turn and sat silently for five minutes.
Calmly sat there whilst we spoke, occassionally looking into the fire and catching the blaze in her brilliant eyes.

 Other news - my father became an ancestor.  May he navigate well.

 India continues to be the ally and companion and friend to all creatures.

Songs are sung......

Tinctures brewed.........

Anyone out there ?

And a few nights ago I discover this:


Timster said…
Great post! Loved the pics...
bholanath said…
Wonderful post. Glad to read your words again. I have been an owl handler in recent years with a wildlife rehab center. Great teachers.
nina said…
Mmmmm, the love light is so warm and bright in here.
john said…
Hi Su. Some of us are still out here and glad you're still out there. Your father became an ancestor, an interesting way of putting it, not thought of that before, thanks. How great to have the company of the owl. Good to hear your thoughts and words again.
su said…

Well like a child baking the first chocolate cake feels such pleasure, such is my delight upon finding re-connection. Joy abounds.

Hi Timster - long time.

Bholonath - They are profound teachers. I have not seen Athena for two days now and the storm was strong and violent.
May she be safe.

Ah, most blessed Nina, You always were the light catcher, the one drawing in the light

And John, being way too long. Regarding my father.
He as largely unknown in my life. Like absent in a very true sense. Different continents and maybe 5 meetups this lifetime.

I spoke to him just before his death>
I was warned her was largely incoherent and unable to speak but he cam spoke to him as Susan, his African daughter.
He apologised for his absence and I spoke of how grateful I was not to have been a daddy's girl And thanked him for that. He again spoke with regret about what a shit father he had been. Without thinking I found myself telling him that he has the opportunity to be the most astonishing ancestor ...... He loved that.

Thank you all - it means a lot.

Zoner said…
Lovely to be back here in the midst of such profoundly alive and loving humans. My how I treasure the frequent and deep interactions of our shared past, more now than ever as fracturing and diconnection and change march ever onward through, and at times over, our intended paths. Not sure if I have lost my way in this world or have simply been a fool to imagine any reliable "way" was needed. New sign on the dishwasher; "Life is simply a gift; stop shaking the box".

The owl is such a magnificient creature. The joy and wonder at this reading of your and your loved one's being and transitioning brought a flood of tears, simply I think at the joy in knowing you continue fearlessly or at least carrying that same spirit that captivated me many years ago and has held my interest and Love focus ever since. Thank you for sharing dear one. All of my Love to you and your beautiful clan, Su, and indeed to all who come here.
su said…
Ahh Zoner,

I like the dishwasher notice.

And my friend, so glad for the reconnection.
This life has been simultaneously about being warrior deluxe and gentleness supreme.
And the times in bewteen which are neither.

Speak later.

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