Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Iona chooses to stay .....


Again you will find me , walking along with the four legged gods on the clay outer village roads.   The mostly unused ones.  The sky is indigo and the moon, almost full is rising.  The air is crisp and clean and the scents of syringe flowers and honeysuckle offer themselves as the constant nasal blessing.  These two scents together can throw me into ecstasy so easily.  A subtle blast.   There is a huge spring in my step and I think it is partially propelled by the enormous smile on my face.  Leaping into the air, almost onto the surface of the moon. 
The owl swoops in front of me.   We have met up a few times of late.   He sits on a lamp pole and I walk towards him with such a feeling of awe spreading over me.  I hold my hands out open to the side.  We stand like this for a while.  Then he flies to the next pole.  And again I approach him.  To me he is the sacred teacher,  and I am on the ground under the moon.   This happens for eight poles.  He then flies off.  And a song comes on my ipod that has me dancing along this moonlit road.   It really can’t get more perfect than this.   A contributing factor being that the creator of the song is also the owl.
I return home and bring in the dogs beds and refresh their water.  Cover the rats.  Close the gate.  Switch of the geyser.  None of the kids are in the kitchen .  I fuff around closing a window, picking up a book, stroking a cat.  I am washing my face when Iona comes into the bathroom.  She is pale.  Very pale.  But she is calm.  In that instant I know something momentous has happened.  She goes on to tell me that  she had been swinging around on the boxing bag.   And when it was really spinning she climbed to sit on the top.
The only thing was that her dolphin pendant on a thread which was around her neck got caught in the boxing bags thread and she was being strangled.  It was getting tighter and tighter and she felt feint.  And then she decided she was not going to die on a boxing bag strangled by a dolphin and with all her strength she tore if off her neck.  There is a big welt where it dug in.
And of course I know this beautiful being will one day no longer be in her beautiful body.  And I won’t be able to mourn because to have spent 11 years with her and the joy and the laughter that she is is such a gift in itself.
And yet the most, most supreme gratitude arises, that this beautiful being is ALIVE today.
And I know in the light of the potential devastation that is looming for many this is not relevant –
I just wanted to say thank you to Life for this being who is JOY herself still walks amongst us.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Wheelbarrow Omniscience

Many many moons ago if you were to set out looking for me,  and if you knew me at all well , you would know which tree in the village had the branches upon which I could lie comfortably.
You would find me, and the presence of the dogs might just make it that much easier.
I am lying on the branch and listening to a song, that a blog friend of mine had played.
It always lead to heart coherence this particular song.
So lying in the tree,  night sky above me,  heart at peace and at the same time elated.
Nothing could be more perfect than this.

The following day I awaken to an initially cold day. 
 The electricity goes off.  It reminds me that we are in a financial crisis.  
The onset of spring and its magnificence had prompted forgetfulness.  
How profound to not have a cent to your name and be able to forget about it.
But now I am reminded there is no electricity.
Tao makes a fire outside and sets about cooking a vegetable stew.
I am grateful for this.
I set about boiling a kettle of water.
A watched pot never boils.
And because of this watching I entered eternity.
All sorts of stories arising.
The granny, who is bedridden needs her electric blanket.
The snakes need their heating pads.
Why have I not stepped off the grid already is a huge question.
What am I waiting for.
I go down on my bike to purchase electricity,  
I had managed to scrounge some funds together.
Only to get there and stand in a queue with the guys from the squattter camp, 
only to be the only one who can't buy.  
Have not paid the rates -
cannot get the units.

Ride home.
Give up, give in, surrender.
I drag a mattress onto the lawn under the Ash tree.
Position it so that my face is in the shade and my body in the sun.
And I lie there and I give myself up to the earth.
I am listening to music on an ipod and my eyes are watching the blades of grass 
twist, turn, swirl, uncurl, balance, bow, wink, smile.
Lying on the grass, in the shade, feeling nothing but acceptance.

An elderly woman in the village comes outside to me.
I stand up quickly.
I am back in the world.
I hardly know her.
She tells me she thinks I might need some help....
I say no I am fine......
She told me that God does not have eyes or legs or arms or hands
but she does and she was told I need her......
So she comes in like an angel and the next thing
the power is on - food is cooking,  and the granny's blanket is on again.

That act of kindness was probably the greatest gift I have ever received.
It touched some space within me that gave birth to such an enormous receptivity.
Tears just flowed and flowed.

Humility has been my companion for a while now.
No car, hitching to town when I need to go.
Putting down the stories and self judgement.
Diving deeper and deeper 
into the clear cut realization that all we need
all we really need is
food, water and shelter.
So basic.
So do-able.
Everything else is really not necessary at ALL

There have been a few times recently where there has been no food on the table.
And yet each time this situation arises
someone comes to the door with a pot of soup
and a loaf of bread.
How beautiful it is to receive.
How enriching it is to allow.

And now it seems that the tide is turning
and the lessons have been learnt
and there is more ease of well being .....

and the whole time in the background
are those who read here
and who journey with me
in different spaces
but in the same dimension 
and I say to you
hold on now
we are so lucky to be here now
what looks like hell unfolding
is just a story

So much magnificence.
Do you feel it?
The brilliance of the sun.
The wisdom of the wind.
The power of the grasses.
The truth of our being.
 Do you feel it?