Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Pre-sence as a suspect.....

Ah since I last wrote,  the winter solstice found me jumping over a fire and leaving the unwanted aspects of self behind.  A rather big fire that the kids glided over effortlessly.  For me it was more of an effort.  I still have some issues that need shedding.  The queen had her jubilee and I became aware of how even she is a puppet.  I mean what reptilian overlord would stand in the rain for so many days in such dismal situation with the poor Brits trying to be pompous and ceremonious but to me just looking like sodden sheep.

Madonna continues her world tour with her whole satanic stage show and her crowds of supporters who must have come directly from lobotomy are us inc.   The sabers rattle over Syria and Iran but then Colorado had some pretty hectic fires.  My take on it is that it was indeed arson but a direct veiled threat to the Obama administration that there are many ways to wage a war and this is just one of them.  So it has mostly been Israel jumping up and down in her guilded poison cage.   I was saddened beyond measure at the failed assassination attempt on Hilary Clinton in Egypt.  Equally saddened that it did not get any msm news coverage.
And to think I used to be a Buddhist and wish no one harm.  Well times change and hearts harden and soften simultaneously.

Well that is yesterdays news which is the same as the day before yesterdays news which is the same as the news 10 years ago.
Today it is early in the morning and I am wrapped up warmly and walking down to the police station.  India, the boxer dog that lives with me follows me and I only discover this after three blocks.  Take her home.  She gives me that concerned look.  She knows me so dam well.  Take her home and ensure she stays there and head off again.  I am determined to be a present as possible.  I don't want to go one minute into the future otherwise I am in the mental plane.  I don't want to head into the past otherwise I slip into stories.

The smoke of wood fires dominates the senses.  As well as the ice on my skin.  The trees are all completely naked.  And yet on the ground there are carpets of winter flowers called sour suckers.  They stand tall.  I pick one and suck on the end.  Then I recall that it probably has dog pee on it.  Spit it out.  Get to the police station.  The two inspectors greet me and ask me to wait  by the car.   Also waiting by the car is a young woman with a babe in her arms.  We are going to be co travelers.  Her babe has a blanket over its head and it wants out,  It's little arms keep trying to swipe it away but she diligently places it back in place. I am a suspect and she is a complainant.
So how did I get here awaiting a lift to court in a police car.

Greta, whom I have mentioned before had left an abusive relationship and moved in here with Matthew.   I was present at this birth and we thus have a rather deep connection.   It took an enormous amount of courage for her to leave the home that she had created.  She carries the deepest feelings of unworthiness I have met in a person and at the same time is the most dynamically alive and radiant being. 

Every relationship has an energy body surrounding it.  This particular one had a combination of ahdd, crystal meth, alcohol, physical violence.  In between that there were some sweet notes of connectivity,  guitar,  and ummm guitar and oh I think that is it.  So this energy field was prone to drama on a large scale.  Drama and violence.  The partner is a huge man - well over 6 foot 7.  She is tiny.  Just pops 5.2.  She had left him many times before but when out on her own with Matthew the world just seemed to dismal and frightening and the energy field would pull her back.

So this time I got a message in my dreams that she was to move in with us and I was to offer her my home for ever if need be.    And between the drama and threats from him we had a lot of fun.    Every home should have two women.    Cooking together, cleaning together, aware of what was needed.  Scraping the pennies together for electricity.  Laughing through some extremely challenging financial times.  It was really cool to have someone to aid and abet with.  And Matthew was the cherry on top of the cake.

Of course it was not all sweetness.  Hence I am on my way to court as a suspect in a criminal injuria case.  This happened after he had sent the cops to our home for 3 days in a row claiming that she was threatening his safety.  I mentioned his size hey.  And that he had attacked Tao, my 17 year old son.  And that he had called the police to search our property claiming he was 100 percent sure we had vast quantities of cannabis in our possession.  He worked on the property adjoining ours and his presence was a constant threat.  But we endured.   And on the second day my ailing, dying mother in law saw the police coming again and in her dementia tried to get up to see what was going on and fell cutting her head open and needing stitches.  On the third day it was Matthew's party and the police arrived in the midst of all these sweet innocent kids to serve Greta papers.

And at that point I just lost it.  I stormed over there and called him a little man.  He told me to go and smoke a bong and I told him to go and smoke his meth.
Well blow me down the next day the police come and issue me with papers for criminal injuria.  I can pay a fine or I can go to court.  Well what would you do?
So a case is opened,  I am finger printed and three thousand pages are filled in about this incident.   So the main charge was that I had called him a little man and shown him my middle finger.  Can you believe it in this country,  with the one of the highest murder and rape rates in the world the police actually take this case on?

And when this all started I was in the midst of a 10 week process dealing with presence.  A very powerful and a very uncomfortable journey.  But one that hey guess what evoked Pre-sence.

So today with the mist lifting and the earth smoking and the mountains magically appearing and the sun rampantly breaking through, I was with each breath as it unfolded.  Smelling the smells in the car.  Watching how Cosntable van Dyk kept breaking the speed limit.  Having to hit my imaginary brakes a few times.

And then we get to court.  Shit on the toilet seat.  No chairs whilst we wait.  I have been standing in the passage for an hour.   Still fascinated at how the pants the males were wearing were all at half mast but never sank beyond that.  I positioned myself where a shaft of light reached me.  I closed my eyes, folded my arms and sank into the sanctuary that I have come to know as my Self.

All was well in my world.    Some time later someone tapped me on the shoulder to tell me the prosecutor had thrown the case out.

Walking home till someone who drove past would give me a lift,  I find myself moving through the town.  The day is warming up.  I take off a scarf.  I cross the bridge.  I walk past the sewerage plant.   Walking fast and easily I past a row of ancient blue gums.  I am compelled to greet each one individually.  I get to the river.  It is heavy and swollen and flowing fast.

I return home and spend the day on the couch watching the light filter through the trees.
Thanking life for the miracle of each moment.  Thanking life for the miracle of each breath.
And thanking life most of all for the magic of Light.

There is no doubt that the changes we have been told are coming are here.
It is no longer about stockpiling food or ensure physical survival.
I really get that the only thing that is worth doing right now is finding out once and for all who we really are.
And it is not the limited being we have been sold as our birthright.

We are the all knowing, omnipotent, omnipresence here on earth at this time.
Breathe in,  feel it,  know it, celebrate it.
With much love and respect to you all.

If you do read this, please talk to me again, I so love conversation.

Highly recommended   -